I got banned from the secret cooking society… For spilling the beans.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese

Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.

When clowns divorce there’s often a custardy battle

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore.

When you swim in a creek and an eel bites your cheek, that’s a moray.

A donkey fell into a bowl of sugar. Now that’s a sweet ass!!

Which dinosaur knew the most words?
The thesaurus.

I’m in awe. My buddy just used a snail as a key to start up his sedan…

It made escargot.

What do you call Watson when Sherlock isn’t around? Holmeless.

Where are average things manufactured?
The satisfactory

Fishermen are reel men.

A giraffe walks into a bar. “Sorry”, said the barman, “We don’t serve Heineken here.”

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

I only trust people who like big butts. They cannot lie.

A dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa

Your mum is so mean, she has no standard deviation
🤓

What’s the worst vegetable to eat on a boat?
Leek

Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous. I’m seeing a lot of new faces in the crowd this week and I have to say I’m really disappointed.