#159
How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb? Sex.
How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb? Sex.
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said ‘No change yet’.
Why do husbands die before their wives? They want to.
People are making end of the world jokes like there is no tomorrow.
Frankly, auto correct, I’m getting tired of your shirt.
If a blind woman tells you your penis is big, she’s probably just pulling your leg
If Tinkerbell had a Mexican sister what would her name be?
Taco Bell
My wife told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer.
I said “No wait, I can change!”
So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere
3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you ‘handsome’, don’t take it as a compliment!
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying in your fireplace?
Bernie
My friend dug a hole in the garden and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
My party trick is swallowing two peices of string and an hour later they come out of my arse tied together. I shit you knot.
What kind of car does a rich cow drive?
A Cattlelac
When I think of books, I touch my shelf.
Our vet is great. If you take your dog in and you have pet insurance, they give you a courtesy dog for the day.
What do you call a lady with one leg?
Eileen
Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them? So when they dock they can Scandinavian.
What grows under your nose?
Tulips
A Chinese kid was born before the due date.
Parents named him Sudden Lee.