#159

How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb? Sex.

#60

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said ‘No change yet’.

#438

People are making end of the world jokes like there is no tomorrow.

#628

Frankly, auto correct, I’m getting tired of your shirt.

#271

If a blind woman tells you your penis is big, she’s probably just pulling your leg

#807

If Tinkerbell had a Mexican sister what would her name be?
Taco Bell

#68

My wife told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer.
I said “No wait, I can change!”

#652

So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere

#558

3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you ‘handsome’, don’t take it as a compliment!

#629

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying in your fireplace?
Bernie

#385

My friend dug a hole in the garden and filled it with water. I think he meant well.

#125

My party trick is swallowing two peices of string and an hour later they come out of my arse tied together. I shit you knot.

#642

Our vet is great. If you take your dog in and you have pet insurance, they give you a courtesy dog for the day.

#753

Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them? So when they dock they can Scandinavian.

#429

A Chinese kid was born before the due date.
Parents named him Sudden Lee.

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