#145
I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia?
She whispered, “They’re behind you”.
I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia?
She whispered, “They’re behind you”.
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
-Librarians arguing
When I heard that they’d found a cure for dyslexia, it was like music to my arse.
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are. But I laugh more.
There was a man who entered a local paper’s pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
If you’re here for the yodeling lesson, please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue.
My friend has been a limo driver for 25 years and has never had a customer.
All that time and nothing to chauffeur it
Why should you never give Elsa a balloon?
Cause she’ll just let it go
When he proposed to her. She found it very engaging.
I slapped Dwayne Johnson’s butt.
I guess I’ve hit Rock Bottom.
I miss my umbilical cord. Must have grown attached to it
Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend off the wall? So he could see her crack!
As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden..
The plot thickens.
I was cleaning one of my finger guns and accidentally blew a hole through my air guitar.
Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything.
There’s no “i” in denial
Care to seduce a large woman?
Piece of cake!
What do you call a business cow?
An entrepe-moo-er
I asked my wife for “something Cuban” for my birthday, and she got me a Che Guevara shirt.
Clothes, but no cigar.
Hedgehogs — why can’t they just share the hedge