A Chinese couple had a black baby and named it SumTing Wong.

“Give it to me! Give it to me!” she yelled, “I’m so wet, give it to me now!” She could scream all she wanted to. I was keeping the umbrella.

How does an evil cow laugh? Moohaha

Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals

What sits at the bottom of the ocean shivering?
A nervous wreck

Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humour.

I think they picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I’m around!

19 and 20 got into a fight.
21.

“No, thanks. I’m a vegetarian.” is a fun thing to say when someone hands you their baby.

A horse walks into a bar. Several patrons get up and leave as they recognise the potential danger in the situation

This guy said to me: “I’m gonna attack you with the neck of my guitar.” I said: “Is that a fret?”

A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.

My wife is complaining that I never buy her jewellery. To be fair, I didn’t even know she sold jewellery.

Statistically speaking, 6 out of 7 dwarves aren’t happy

Clones are people two

What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud

Relationships between men and women is psychological.
She is psycho and he is logical.

The first rule of Alzheimer’s club, is don’t talk about chess club

Cinderella got kicked off the basketball team because she ran away from the ball

I ordered 2000 lbs. of chinese soup.
It was Won Ton.