#770
What do you call a bird who drinks too much?
An owlcoholic
#326
I mustache you a question but I’ll Shave it for later
#893
How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?
He felt his presents
#95
Your mum is so mean, she has no standard deviation
🤓
#397
I bought my friend an elephant for their room.
They said “thank you”
I said “Don’t mention it”
#312
I’m looking for the girl next door type. I’m just gonna keep moving house till I find her.
#820
What did the cleaner say as he jumped out of the closet?
SUPPLIES!
#657
No deja vu please…
I don’t want to go through that again
#772
You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
#697
What do you call a king’s fart?
Noble gas.
#880
I have six eyes, two mouths and three ears. What am I? Ugly
#49
An SEO guy walks into a bar, pub, inn, tavern, hotel, public house, brew house, beer hall, bodega, izakaya
#202
A termite walks into a bar and says “where’s the bar tender”
#80
What’s the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts?
Beer nuts are a $1.75, but deer nuts are under a buck.
#803
When I was younger I felt like a man trapped inside a woman’s body.
Then I was born
#392
What did the electrician say when he got shocked?
That hertz.
#160
The roundest knight at king Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
#615
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humour.
#792
My wife screamed “Ugh you haven’t heard a word I said, have you!?”
What a strange way to start a conversation
#504
A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.