What’s the difference between a well dressed man on a bike and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle?

Attire

They say make up sex is the best…
Which is lucky, because all my sex is made up.

If procrastionation was an Olympic sport, I’d compete in it later.

He’s street smart. Sesame Street smart.

I’m having an introvert party and you’re all not invited.

I did a theatrical performance on puns.
It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium

If two vegans have an argument is it still beef?

I used to be a lifeguard, but this blue kid got me fired.

Got a universal remote for Father’s Day.
This changes everything!

Why did the Mexican throw his wife off a bridge?
Tequila

A dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa

If you’re here for the yodeling lesson, please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue.

A bartender walks into a church, a temple and a mosque. He has no idea how jokes work.

Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize.

LSD causes users to lose weight. Obviously you can’t eat when a dragon is guarding the fridge

I still remember the day the scented candle shop I worked at burned to the ground.

Everyone was so calm…..

Where did Mary go after the explosion?
Everywhere