#714
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse’s butt?
A mechanic!
#350
Why dont blind people skydive? Because it scares the crap out of their dogs.
#264
Did you hear about the butcher who backed up into the meat grinder? He got a little behind in his work.
#64
RIP boiled water. You will be mist.
#137
“You haven’t listened to a word I’ve said, have you?” always seems like a strange way for my wife to start a conversation.
#706
What part of a vegetable do cannibals struggle to eat?
The wheelchair
#563
A farmer counted 196 cows in the field. But when he rounded them up, he had 200
#249
What kind of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly-squats.
#77
If two vegans have an argument is it still beef?
#581
Fishermen are reel men.
#803
When I was younger I felt like a man trapped inside a woman’s body.
Then I was born
#140
When my blonde neighbour asked me if I knew about items missing from her clothesline I nearly wet her pants.
#320
Hedgehogs — why can’t they just share the hedge
#239
Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize.
#60
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said ‘No change yet’.
#356
How Long is a Chinese man’s name.
No, it actually is.
#874
I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad I take something for it
#858
What sits at the bottom of the ocean shivering?
A nervous wreck
#539
Why do blondes tip-toe past medicine cabinets?
So they don’t wake up the sleeping pills
#780
Whats the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
