Shouldn’t pregnant women be called body builders?

Why do all of P-Diddy’s kids have nice hair?
Because Sean Combs

Where do pencils go on vacation? Pencilvania

Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear quite bright – until you hear them talk.

Someone says to his friend: “I bought a cat” And the other: “You have to be kitten me!”

I had amnesia once – maybe twice.

Why did Barbie never get pregnant?
Because Ken always came in another box.

As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden..
The plot thickens.

When my blonde neighbour asked me if I knew about items missing from her clothesline I nearly wet her pants.

I was playing Frisbee with my dog in the park today, but it didn’t go well.
I think I need to get a flatter dog.

What did Michael Jackson call his denim store?
Billie Jeans

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints

Woke up on the ground last night, must have fell asleep​.

What’s E.T. short for?
He’s got little legs

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure

When are holes beautiful? When they’re gorges.

What do squirrels give for Valentine’s Day? Forget-me-nuts.

What’s the internal temperature of a Tauntaun?
Luke warm