Wanna hear a potassium joke?
K

I hate those stupid little Russian nesting dolls

they’re so full of themselves

Why don’t helicopters fly in the morning? Twirly

I’m looking for the girl next door type. I’m just gonna keep moving house till I find her.

Did you hear about the chameleon that couldn’t change colour? He had a reptile dysfunction

What do you call a lady with one leg?
Eileen

It’s a good thing farts aren’t contagious like yawns

I’m hosting a marathon for people with chronic diarrhea. It’s a run for the runs

I met a one-legged woman outside of a club the other day. She was a bouncer.

What’s it like being in a vacuum cleaner? It sucks

Why did the chicken go to a séance? To communicate with the other side

What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know, and I don’t care.

What did the electrician say when he got shocked?
That hertz.

I got fired from my job as a chef for stealing kitchen equipment. It’s a whisk I was willing to take.

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic

A naked man broke into a church. The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ.

19 and 20 got into a fight.
21.

Why didn’t the vampire attack Taylor Swift?
She had Bad Blood

I’m going to stand outside, so if anyone asks I’m outstanding.

What do you call a mind reader who can’t read minds? A telepathetic.