How do Mexicans stay warm in winter? Fajitas

You heard of that new band 1023MB? They’re good but they haven’t got a gig yet.

i thought i got a type a in blood test but it was actually a typ-o

A bartender walks into a church, a temple and a mosque. He has no idea how jokes work.

I broke a can opener. It’s a can’t opener now.

When my wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo I had to put my foot down

I wasn’t happy with my sons school report. He said okay. I said I want more A’s. He said okaaaaaaaay

I got into a fight with my boner this morning. Don’t worry, I beat it single handedly

RIP boiled water. You will be mist.

Woke up on the ground last night, must have fell asleep​.

My speech today will be like a mini-skirt. Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to hold your attention!

Why did the pig stop sunbathing? He was bacon in the heat

What did the cow say to her calf?
It’s pasture bed time

My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he’s only got his shelf to blame.

Why did Barbie never get pregnant?
Because Ken always came in another box.

What is Mozart doing right now? Decomposing.

What is Bruce Lee’s favourite drink? Wataaaaahh!

I named my hard drive “dat ass” so once a month my computer asks if I want to back dat ass up