#101
The funeral for the man who invented Chinese whispers will be held on Monday. Pass it on.
#506
I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Do *not* read it!
#762
I felt so bad today…I saw this sad dog without a tail. Luckily, his owner was taking him to the retail store.
#823
Why did the grandma put wheels on her rocking chair? She liked to rock and roll
#670
Two bars walk into a man, LSD is powerful stuff
#59
The thing about dwarfs and midgets is that they have very little in common
#32
What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta
#760
What kind of currency do chickens use? Bock bucks
#366
Why do all of P-Diddy’s kids have nice hair?
Because Sean Combs
#653
I would give my right arm to be ambidextrous!
#180
A Russian spy, a sexual predator, and a billionaire walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What can I get you, Mr. President?”
#795
Why did the butcher get dressed up?
He was going to the meatball
#580
What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare-line
#794
What do you call a snake that is 3.14 metres long?
A pi-thon
#644
Scared the postman today by going to the door naked.
I’m not sure what scared him more, my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived.
#108
I’m going on a blind date tonight. I hope our Labradors get on.
#58
I don’t know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
#159
How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb? Sex.
#786
Interviewer asked me if I’d make a good waiter.
Let’s just say I can bring a lot to the table
#488
What do you call Watson when Sherlock isn’t around? Holmeless.