A philosopher says to a linguist “What if, instead of periods, women had apostrophes?”

The linguist replied, “They’d be more possessive and have more frequent contractions.”

How Long is a Chinese man’s name.

No, it actually is.

The future, the present and the past walked into a bar. Things got a little tense.

I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again

Pick up line: “Are you a beaver because damn!”

I’ve just finished reading a book called “How To Give Constructive Criticism.”
It was rubbish.

The first 5 days after the weekend are the hardest

A Russian spy, a sexual predator, and a billionaire walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What can I get you, Mr. President?”

Doesn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?

There was a big paddle sale at the boat store.
It was quite an oar deal.

You used asbestos in that wall?
That was asbestos I could do.

“I stand corrected,” said the man in the orthopedic shoes.

Have you heard about corduroy pillows?
They’re making headlines.

What has four letters

I am frustrated than a dragon trying to blow out candles.

An SEO guy walks into a bar, pub, inn, tavern, hotel, public house, brew house, beer hall, bodega, izakaya

When are holes beautiful? When they’re gorges.

Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever thought about your X and wondered Y?