There are so many scams on the Internet these days…. but for $19.95 I can show you how to avoid them.

I got into a fight with my boner this morning. Don’t worry, I beat it single handedly

When my wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo I had to put my foot down

My wife asked me to join her for yoga class. I said “Namaste home”

I met my wife at an Arthritis support meeting.
You know when two people just click.

The Lord of the Rings is basically about a group that spends nine hours returning jewellery

Arguing with my wife is like reading the software licencing agreement. In the end, you ignore everything and click “I agree”.

Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear quite bright – until you hear them talk.

Where are average things manufactured?
The satisfactory

Did you hear about the murder at the fish shop the other day!!

2 fish got battered to death

Just got sacked from my job as a dishwasher. I kept putting the plates and bowls in the wrong order. The boss reckons I am dishlexic.

I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh

What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

If a blind woman tells you your penis is big, she’s probably just pulling your leg

Conjunctivitis.com: a site for sore eyes

What’s the worst vegetable to eat on a boat?
Leek

With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying in your fireplace?
Bernie

My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.