I don’t think it’s possible for me to become a sniper. Not by a long shot.

There was a man who entered a local paper’s pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare-line

What kind of currency do chickens use? Bock bucks

A termite walks into a bar and says “where’s the bar tender”

What do you call a guy no arms no legs in the mail box? Bill.

Why did the Mexican throw his wife off a bridge?
Tequila

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese

Just got sacked from my job as a dishwasher. I kept putting the plates and bowls in the wrong order. The boss reckons I am dishlexic.

What kind of bees make milk?
Boobies

Wanted to tell you a joke about tv controllers but it’s not even remotely funny

What do you call a guy with a rabbit up his butt?
Warren

The thing about dwarfs and midgets is that they have very little in common

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

I applied for a government job but accidentally sent the wrong resume. This early display of incompetence should work in my favour.

I mustache you a question but I’ll Shave it for later

Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing