#260
What’s the importance of capitalization? You can either help your Uncle Jack off a horse or help your uncle jack off a horse
#80
What’s the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts?
Beer nuts are a $1.75, but deer nuts are under a buck.
#570
Give a Nigerian a fish he’ll eat for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish and he’ll become a prince and start e-mailing people
#831
I was having a dip at the swimming pool when the lifeguard asked, “What have you got there?” I said “Tzatziki”.
#500
Waitress: ‘Do u have any questions about the menu?’ Me: ‘What kind of font is this?’
#753
Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them? So when they dock they can Scandinavian.
#336
Say what you want about deaf people…
#130
My wife asked me to bring home stuff for the pancakes. She wasn’t happy when I arrived with a push-up bra.
#620
The Energizer bunny ended up in jail.
He was charged with battery
#51
An English man, an Irish man and an Italian walk into a bar. The bartender says “is this a joke?”
#410
What do you call an Asian man who always has the correct change?
Exact Lee
#298
I bet the butcher $50 that he couldn’t reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, “No, the steaks are too high.”
#719
Did you hear about the horse and pig that are dating?
They’re in a stable relationship
#448
Behind every angry woman is man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong
#867
I can cut down a tree just by looking at it. It’s true. I saw it with my own eyes
#775
How do billboards communicate?
Sign language
#342
A man who loves Sherlock Holmes novels and puns names his dog Furlock. One day, he takes his dog out to town with him and stops in a little boutique. He brings his dog in with him and tries on a shirt. To his dismay, it isn’t the right size. He looks at his dog and says “No fit, Furlock.“
#751
Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.
#854
What do ducks wear to weddings? Duxedos
#674
I haven’t slept for three days, because that would be too long.