#346
My wife says I’m too impulsive. But what the hell does she know? She only met me yesterday.
#562
Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Sein.
#379
Shout out to my grandma…
That’s the only way she can hear
#835
I said to a mate, “What’s your pet hate?”
He said, “He doesn’t like it when the vet puts a thermometer up his butt”.
#243
What is Mozart doing right now? Decomposing.
#384
I have a stepladder. Because my real ladder left when I was a kid
#718
What does a panda ghost eat? Bam-BOO!
#156
What do you call a three-legged donkey? A wonkey.
#437
I got banned from a secret cooking society for spilling the beans
#522
What’s the worst thing about ancient history class?
The teachers tend to Babylon
#622
An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
#798
A jumper cable walked into a bar, the bartender said “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything!”
#470
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned: couldn’t concentrate.
#624
Why can’t you take inventory in Afghanistan?
Because of the tally ban
#648
Wanna hear a potassium joke?
K
#667
Impotence: Nature’s way of saying “No hard feelings”.
#197
Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory? It was a real tragedy, 100 soles were lost.
#192
I got banned from the secret cooking society… For spilling the beans.
#283
I just realised that I haven’t done the hokey pokey in over 10 years. I guess when you get older, you just forget what it’s all about.
#727
There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.
Only a fraction of people will find this funny.
Some people appreciate these kinds of jokes and some don’t – the division is clear.