What do you call dental x-rays?
Tooth pics

My cats gonna sh** when he sees his new litter box I got him for Christmas.

I hate when people use words without knowing the meaning… gives me a huge hysterectomy on the side of my head.

My friend David lost his ID.

So now I call him Dav.

When you have a bladder infection, urine trouble

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium

What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.

As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden..
The plot thickens.

Face is a four letter word. But preface is a foreword letter.

My dad used to be a human cannonball in the circus. They’ve never found another man of his caliber

I’m thinking of selling my John Lennon memorabilia on eBay.
Imagine all the PayPal.

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One cannibal turns to the other and asks, “This taste funny to you?”

What do you call a snobbish prisoner going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending

Is it bad to tell knock knock jokes to homeless people?

Let’s hope the new Jurassic world movie isn’t a train Rex of a film.

Why don’t flies go to church?
Because they’re in sects

The plumber told me a hole boring story about pipes.

Why should you never trust a train?
They have loco motives

The thing about dwarfs and midgets is that they have very little in common

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying