#367
Did you know that Snoop Dogg’s sister is a stripper?
She wears nothing but a g-string baby
#321
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
#651
A dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa
#773
I’m so introverted I won’t even talk to myself.
#509
I am so poor I can’t even pay attention.
#86
My honey farmer friend has a thing for big butts. I suppose Booty is in the eye of the bee-holder.
#593
Clones are people two
#468
What advice did Notorious B.I.G give to his cows?
Moo money, moo problems
#350
Why dont blind people skydive? Because it scares the crap out of their dogs.
#197
Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory? It was a real tragedy, 100 soles were lost.
#98
“Your finest Scotch, please.” “Yes, sir,” the guy at Officeworks says as he hands me a 12 year old roll of tape.
#54
I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech’ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter ‘Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite’.
#835
I said to a mate, “What’s your pet hate?”
He said, “He doesn’t like it when the vet puts a thermometer up his butt”.
#296
My wife’s been staring through the window ever since it started snowing. If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.
#642
Our vet is great. If you take your dog in and you have pet insurance, they give you a courtesy dog for the day.
#132
My deaf girlfriend was talking in her sleep last night. She nearly took my eye out.
#716
When he proposed to her. She found it very engaging.
#449
Did you hear about the theme park ride made entirely out of iron?
It was a ferrous wheel
#666
Someone threw cheese at me.
Real mature!
#162
I dreamt I wrote the Hobbit the other night. I think I was Tolkien in my sleep.