What do you call somebody with body and just a nose? Nobody nose!

Today I saw a golf buggy parked in a disabled bay and thought to myself, “I wonder what his handicap is?”

What has four letters

Let’s hope the new Jurassic world movie isn’t a train Rex of a film.

I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech’ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter ‘Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite’.

My wife told me I was average, I think she’s mean.

I once thanked a French guy to death. It was a merci killing.

What advice did Notorious B.I.G give to his cows?
Moo money, moo problems

I got a photo with R.E.M
That’s me in the corner

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and its cold

My grandfather has the heart of a lion.
And a lifetime ban from the zoo

I thought I had a Japanese friend, but it was just my imagine asian

Clones are people two

Hedgehogs — why can’t they just share the hedge

As soon as the hospital made me put on one of those little gowns, I knew the end was in sight

They’re always telling me to live my dreams. But I don’t want to be naked in an exam I haven’t revised for!

A jumper cable walked into a bar, the bartender said “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything!”

The plumber told me a hole boring story about pipes.

I’m here for whatever you need me to do… from the couch.

Yeah, it was on Fry Day, I can’t believe they got killed for the halibut. No motive, someone should seas the culprit. I’m crabby bout it all