#844
Got a universal remote for Father’s Day.
This changes everything!
#791
What is red and bad for your teeth?
A brick
#779
What computer sings the best?
A Dell
#468
What advice did Notorious B.I.G give to his cows?
Moo money, moo problems
#489
In any argument, a wife has the last word. Anything the husband says after that last word is the beginning of a new argument.
#500
Waitress: ‘Do u have any questions about the menu?’ Me: ‘What kind of font is this?’
#599
There are so many scams on the Internet these days…. but for $19.95 I can show you how to avoid them.
#816
What’s the least spoken language in the world?
Sign language
#673
It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do
#708
What did the blanket say as it fell of the bed?
Oh sheet
#384
I have a stepladder. Because my real ladder left when I was a kid
#207
I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.
#838
Arriving to meet a blind date:
Her: OMG! You actually wore pyjamas on a first date?
Me: Hang on a minute, you’re not blind!!
#761
What do you call a mind reader who can’t read minds? A telepathetic.
#206
Is it bad to tell knock knock jokes to homeless people?
#624
Why can’t you take inventory in Afghanistan?
Because of the tally ban
#770
What do you call a bird who drinks too much?
An owlcoholic
#672
If canola oil comes from canola, where does baby oil come from?
#651
A dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa
#257
I broke a can opener. It’s a can’t opener now.