#228
I wanted to watch the world origami championship on TV but it was only on paper view.
I wanted to watch the world origami championship on TV but it was only on paper view.
Iβm not passive aggressive. Unlike some people.
What computer sings the best?
A Dell
“Jesus loves you.”
A nice gesture in church.
A horrific thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
How do you count cows? With a cowculater.
What do you call a number that canβt keep still?
A roamin’ numeral
Dogs can’t operate MRI machines… but catscan
Living on earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun.
What do you get when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence? An udder disaster.
I’ve just found out one of my mates works as a mime artist. He’s kept that quiet.
I can hear music coming out of my printer.
I think the paper’s jammin’ again.
Why was the computer late for work?
He had a slow, hard drive
When a woman says “what!?” it’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s just giving you a chance to change what you said
I applied for a government job but accidentally sent the wrong resume. This early display of incompetence should work in my favour.
What is Mozart doing right now?
Decomposing
My cousin drowned. At his funeral we laid a life jacket on his coffin.
It’s what he would have wanted.
What kind of bees make milk?
Boobies
I’m thinking of selling my John Lennon memorabilia on eBay.
Imagine all the PayPal.
What do you call a gay milkman? A Dairy Queen
I would lose weight, but I hate losing.