Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Sein.

I was thinking about getting a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind

What do dinosaurs pay their bills with?
Tyrannosaurus Cheques

You know what often gets overlooked? Fences.

There are so many scams on the Internet these days…. but for $19.95 I can show you how to avoid them.

My kids have been throwing Scrabble tiles at each other again.

it’s all fun and games until someone loses an i.

Nothing makes me more suspicious than an unsolicited compliment.

Why shouldn’t you make fun of a paleontologist? Because you will get Jurasskicked.

I was addicted to the hokey pokey but i turned myself around

Did you hear about the houses falling in love? It was a lawn-distance relationship.

I’m here for whatever you need me to do… from the couch.

Frankly, auto correct, I’m getting tired of your shirt.

I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia?
She whispered, “They’re behind you”.

What’s the difference between a joke and a rhetorical question?

I named my hard drive “dat ass” so once a month my computer asks if I want to back dat ass up

If canola oil comes from canola, where does baby oil come from?

What do you call a woman with no legs? Nolene

Sheepdog: All 50 sheep are accounted for, boss.
Farmer: But I only had 49?
Sheepdog: Yeah I know. I rounded them up.