#189
A woman goes into a bar and asks for a “double entendre”. So the bartender gave her one.
#851
What’s an epileptics favourite food? Seizure salad
#562
Did you hear about the man who jumped off a bridge in France? He was in Sein.
#140
When my blonde neighbour asked me if I knew about items missing from her clothesline I nearly wet her pants.
#708
What did the blanket say as it fell of the bed?
Oh sheet
#815
How do animals hide in the desert?
They use camel-flage.
#885
A horse walks into a bar. Several patrons get up and leave as they recognise the potential danger in the situation
#893
How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?
He felt his presents
#85
I was watching a marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: ‘This could be interesting’
#64
RIP boiled water. You will be mist.
#781
I decided to make my password “incorrect” because if I type it in wrong, my computer will remind me,
“Your password is incorrect.”
#656
PMS should just be called ovary-acting
#349
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? There was nothing left but de Brie.
#553
What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? Snowballs.
#649
Why did Barbie never get pregnant?
Because Ken always came in another box.
#381
What’s the difference between a well dressed man on a bike and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle?
Attire
#596
What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador.
#87
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
#561
Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
#220
My mate had a terrible accident a while ago. He fell into an Upholstering Machine.
He’s fully recovered now though.