A horse walks into a bar, across the room, up the back wall, across the ceiling, down the front wall and then up to the bar. The bartender gives the horse a beer, he drinks it and leaves. A guy sitting at the bar looks perplexed and asks the bartender “Hey, what’s that all about?” The bartender replies, “Don’t take it personally, he never says ‘Hi’ to anyone.”


A donkey fell into a bowl of sugar. Now that’s a sweet ass!!


Did you know that one of the Knights of the Round Table collected taxes?
His name was Sir Charge


What kind of lights did Noah use for his ark?


You used asbestos in that wall?
That was asbestos I could do.


What did the cow say to her calf?
It’s pasture bed time


I’ve just finished reading a book called “How To Give Constructive Criticism.”
It was rubbish.


The bartender says, β€œWe don’t serve time travellers in here.”
A time traveller walks into a bar.


Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever thought about your X and wondered Y?


My annual performance review says I lack “passion & intensity”, guess management hasn’t seen me alone with a Big Mac.


“Your finest Scotch, please.” “Yes, sir,” the guy at Officeworks says as he hands me a 12 year old roll of tape.


How do mathematicians scold their children?

“If I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times …”


My tailor is happy to make a pair of pants for me, or at least sew it seams.


I used to be a carpenter until I accidentally sat on my hammer, now I have hammeroids.


A termite walks into a bar and says “where’s the bar tender”


The roundest knight at king Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.

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