What’s the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes *whack* “damn” and a skydiver goes “damn” *whack*

I know Jiu-Jitsu, Sambo, Judo, Aikido and lots of other scary words.

I used to be in a band, we were called ‘lost dog’. You probably saw our posters.

How do Mexicans stay warm in winter? Fajitas

I poured root beer into a square glass.
Now I just have beer

What do squirrels give for Valentine’s Day? Forget-me-nuts.

When he proposed to her. She found it very engaging.

19 and 20 got into a fight.
21.

Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? They taste funny..

What was the demon arrested for?
Possession

Why is life in North Korea so hard? Because North Korea lost its Seoul.

The bartender says, “We don’t serve time travellers in here.”
A time traveller walks into a bar.

One of the elves left the North Pole to join a gang and sell drugs.
He’s a rebel without a Claus

How does an evil cow laugh? Moohaha

It puzzles me that a bra is singular and panties are plural.

What do you call a cow that just gave birth?
Decalfeinated.

I’m not saying your perfume is too strong. I’m just saying the canary was alive before you got here.

I am frustrated than a dragon trying to blow out candles.