No deja vu please…
I don’t want to go through that again

Relationships between men and women is psychological.
She is psycho and he is logical.

This guy just had a dangerous mole removed from the end of his penis. Definitely won’t be shagging one of those again

What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway)

How much did it cost for the pirate to get his ears pierced?.

A buccaneer

1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It’s either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it’s Colin.

You can’t run through a camping ground. You can only ran, because it’s past tents

What do you call an academically successful slice of bread? An honor roll.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

Doing things that you are not supposed to do at work makes your vision, hearing and alertness much better.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head?
Jack

“Your finest Scotch, please.” “Yes, sir,” the guy at Officeworks says as he hands me a 12 year old roll of tape.

He’s street smart. Sesame Street smart.

Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s time consuming

A hole was found in the wall of a nudist camp. The police are looking into it.

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the toilet? Because it has a silent p

I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It’s Hans free