#23
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure
I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure
My friend recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he’s only got his shelf to blame.
Fixing broken windows is a pane in the glass.
What sits at the bottom of the ocean shivering?
A nervous wreck
I wonder how many chameleons snuck onto Noah’s Ark
I don’t know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
Two blondes are facing each other across a wide stream.
One yells to the other, ‘How do you get to the other side?’
The other blonde replies, ‘You are on the other side!’
The funeral for the man who invented Chinese whispers will be held on Monday. Pass it on.
Do you know why i make puns?
its my respunsibility.
Frankly, auto correct, I’m getting tired of your shirt.
Two dyslexics walk into a bra…
What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
What’s the advantage of living in Switzerland? Well the flag is a big plus
Got a universal remote for Father’s Day.
This changes everything!
What do ducks wear to weddings? Duxedos
A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.
If you’re looking for quality, never buy fireworks from a guy with more than seven fingers.
Interviewer asked me if I’d make a good waiter.
Let’s just say I can bring a lot to the table
What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile?
“Get in the batmobile”
I joined a dyslexic poetry club. At our first meeting I made a vase and an ashtray.