Why can’t you take inventory in Afghanistan?
Because of the tally ban

What did the remote say to the TV? You turn me on.

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic

I have six eyes, two mouths and three ears. What am I? Ugly

There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can’t.

A termite walks into a bar and says “where’s the bar tender”

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

A giraffe walks into a bar. “Sorry”, said the barman, “We don’t serve Heineken here.”

What do bees do with their honey? They cell it.

Your mum is so mean, she has no standard deviation
🤓

Lets have a toast for the bread winners!

Where do pencils go on vacation? Pencilvania

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese

Which dinosaur knew the most words?
The thesaurus.

A bear walked into a bar and says, “I’ll have a beer……and some of those peanuts.” The bartender says, “Why the big pause?”

The rotation of earth really makes my day.

I hate those stupid little Russian nesting dolls

they’re so full of themselves

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying