Santa’s elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses.

If canola oil comes from canola, where does baby oil come from?

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.

A joke is like sex. Neither is any good if you don’t get it.

I wonder how many chameleons snuck onto Noah’s Ark

I have a fear of speed bumps. Im slowly getting over it

I wasn’t happy with my sons school report. He said okay. I said I want more A’s. He said okaaaaaaaay

Who is the best king fu vegetable?
Brocc Lee

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said ‘No change yet’.

Why did Santa’s helper get depressed?
He had low elf esteem

Face is a four letter word. But preface is a foreword letter.

PMS should just be called ovary-acting

I miss my umbilical cord. Must have grown attached to it

A man was admitted to hospital with a number of toy horses up his backside. His condition is now stable.

Waitress: ‘Do u have any questions about the menu?’ Me: ‘What kind of font is this?’

Where did Mary go after the explosion?
Everywhere

Why did Barbie never get pregnant?
Because Ken always came in another box.

I hate peer pressure and you should too.

I went bobsleighing the other day, killed 250 bobs.