Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocaine during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication

What happened to the cannibal that was late to dinner?
He was given the cold shoulder

A Buddhist monk approaches a hot dog stand and says “make me one with everything”

I am frustrated than a dragon trying to blow out candles.

Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
-Librarians arguing

Fishermen are reel men.

Want to get noticed?
Go jogging without moving your arms.

What do you call a mind reader who can’t read minds? A telepathetic.

LSD causes users to lose weight. Obviously you can’t eat when a dragon is guarding the fridge

I broke a can opener. It’s a can’t opener now.

If towels could tell jokes they would probably have a dry sense of humor.

My wife’s been staring through the window ever since it started snowing. If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.

I got fired from my job as a chef for stealing kitchen equipment. It’s a whisk I was willing to take.

Dogs can’t operate MRI machines… but catscan

What’s the leading cause of dry skin? Towels

I knew a guy who collected candy canes, they were all in mint condition.

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned: couldn’t concentrate.

Heard about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu – you get what you deserve