I, for one, like Roman numerals

What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? Snowballs.

I met my wife at an Arthritis support meeting.
You know when two people just click.

A guy goes to a doctor because he’s got a strawberry growing out of his chest. The doctor looks and examines and finally says, “Let me give you some cream to put on it.”

An African-American guy and a Mexican guy opened a restaurant. It’s called Nacho Mama.

We need a 12-step group for compulsive talkers. They could call it On Anon Anon.

Shout out to my grandma…
That’s the only way she can hear

So apparently RSVP’ing back to a wedding invite ‘maybe next time’ isn’t the correct response.

I got fired from my job as a chef for stealing kitchen equipment. It’s a whisk I was willing to take.

Can a woman make you a millionaire?
Yes, if you’re a billionaire

I’m looking for the girl next door type. I’m just gonna keep moving house till I find her.

What kind of currency do chickens use? Bock bucks

A Roman walks into a bar, sticks two fingers up to the barman and says, “Five beers please.”

My wife asked me to bring home stuff for the pancakes. She wasn’t happy when I arrived with a push-up bra.

I felt so bad today…I saw this sad dog without a tail. Luckily, his owner was taking him to the retail store.

My friend just got a job at the zoo, circumcising elephants. The pay isn’t great but he gets huge tips.

I haven’t slept for three days, because that would be too long.

A giraffe walks into a bar. “Sorry”, said the barman, “We don’t serve Heineken here.”

Where does Buzz Lightyear go furniture shopping at? Bed, Bath, and BEYOND!