Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humour.

Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one. He’s never gonna give you Up

Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.

What do you get when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence? An udder disaster.

What do you call a guy with a rabbit up his butt?
Warren

Why is too much alcohol bad for you?

Because that would be too whiskey.

I’ve found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters.
It’s shift work.

My ex-wife is standing at the opposite end of the museum from me. I want to say hello but there’s just too much history between us.

Age is just the number of hours I’m hungover for.

Is it bad to tell knock knock jokes to homeless people?

I went on a once in a lifetime holiday. Never again.

An atheist, a vegan and a Crossfitter walk into a bar. I only know because they told everyone within the first three minutes.

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh

It’s bad luck to be superstitious.

Did you know that Snoop Dogg’s sister is a stripper?
She wears nothing but a g-string baby

I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

They said “thank you”

I said “Don’t mention it”

Where are average things manufactured?
The satisfactory

I work in a library. Literally, all we do is judge books by their covers.

What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare-line