The rotation of earth really makes my day.

A hole was found in the wall of a nudist camp. The police are looking into it.

I had an argument with one of the seven dwarfs. He wasn’t happy

What to say to a hitch-hiker with just one leg? Hop in.

Cinderella got kicked off the basketball team because she ran away from the ball

What do you get when giraffes collide?
A giraffic jam

Nobody’s perfect. I’m a nobody.

Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous. I’m seeing a lot of new faces in the crowd this week and I have to say I’m really disappointed.

What do you call someone who sells their body for a bowl of spaghetti? A pastatute!

How do snakes end a fight?
They hiss and make up

I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech’ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter ‘Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite’.

Took my dog to a bonfire and as he sat there staring at it blankly I realised he loves sticks. I was burning a giant pile of his toys.

I used to be a carpenter until I accidentally sat on my hammer, now I have hammeroids.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile?
“Get in the batmobile”

What’s an epileptics favourite food? Seizure salad

There are only 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don’t

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta

We need a 12-step group for compulsive talkers. They could call it On Anon Anon.

Murphy’s law states anything that can go wrong will go wrong, but have you heard of Cole’s law? It’s finely sliced cabbage.

I work in a library. Literally, all we do is judge books by their covers.