#649
Why did Barbie never get pregnant?
Because Ken always came in another box.
#243
What is Mozart doing right now? Decomposing.
#701
What kind of train eats a lot?
A chew chew train
#193
What’s the advantage of living in Switzerland? Well the flag is a big plus
#478
There are plenty of fish in the sea but until you catch one you’re just stuck here holding your rod…
#554
Yeah I’m into fitness… Fitness pizza in my mouth!
#294
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
#773
I’m so introverted I won’t even talk to myself.
#625
What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish
#15
Waking up this morning was an eye-opening experience
#699
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk
#802
What do mermaids use to clean their fins?
Tide
#800
I’d tell you a joke about crops, but it’s a bit corny.
#2
What’s the internal temperature of a Tauntaun?
Luke warm
#869
I’m terrified of elevators, and I’m taking steps to avoid them
#556
My neighbor is in the Guinness World Records. He has had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me. A stone’s throw away, in fact.
#375
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints
#784
What do you call a business cow?
An entrepe-moo-er
#492
The rotation of earth really makes my day.
#83
I, for one, like Roman numerals