#875
What is invisible and smells like worms?
Bird farts
What is invisible and smells like worms?
Bird farts
My cousin drowned. At his funeral we laid a life jacket on his coffin.
It’s what he would have wanted.
Did you know I was bilingual? Yeah I speak English and profanity
Where does seaweed look for a job?
in the kelp-wanted ads
A bartender walks into a church, a temple and a mosque. He has no idea how jokes work.
If I get interviewed by a police sketch artist, my only goal will be to see how far I get before he realizes I’m making him draw a pirate.
My wife broke up with me because of my gambling. All I can think of is how to win her back.
My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. We didn’t see eye to eye. I also found out she was seeing someone on the side.
What does cheese say when it sees itself in the mirror? Halloumi
Broken Guitar for sale.
No strings attached
What do you call a pastry with diamonds? A stud muffin
Who is the best king fu vegetable?
Brocc Lee
PMS should just be called ovary-acting
There was a man who entered a local paper’s pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I’m driving
What music do pirates listen to?
Arrrr n B
My doctors office has two doctors on call at all times. Is that considered a pair a docs.
Behind every angry woman is man who has absolutely no idea what he did wrong
What’s the worst vegetable to eat on a boat?
Leek
What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? The taste