#184

A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason… details are sketchy.

#652

So this guy with a premature ejaculation problem comes out of nowhere

#643

I’ve just finished reading a book called “How To Give Constructive Criticism.”
It was rubbish.

#497

Doing things that you are not supposed to do at work makes your vision, hearing and alertness much better.

#637

Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
Shhh!
-Librarians arguing

#246

Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals

#633

For a short while, my uncle was a world famous chainsaw juggler. But not for being good at it. I miss uncle Stump.

#195

What kind of prize do you give someone who hasn’t moved a muscle in over a year?
Atrophy.

#445

When a woman says “what!?” it’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s just giving you a chance to change what you said

#85

I was watching a marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. I thought: ‘This could be interesting’

#139

I told my wife she drew her eyebrows on too high. She looked surprised.

#390

Why was the thermometer smarter than the graduated cylinder?
He had more degrees

#237

How does the solar system hold up its trousers? With an asteroid belt

#1

“Whenever we drive past a graveyard my dad says, ‘Do you know why I can’t be buried there?’ And we all say, ‘Why not?’ And he says, ‘Because I’m not dead yet!’”

Back to top