#778

What do you call a duck with a drug problem?
A quackhead

#522

What’s the worst thing about ancient history class?
The teachers tend to Babylon

#478

There are plenty of fish in the sea but until you catch one you’re just stuck here holding your rod…

#667

Impotence: Nature’s way of saying “No hard feelings”.

#768

Where does Buzz Lightyear go furniture shopping at? Bed, Bath, and BEYOND!

#114

Our cat coughed up furballs all over the carpet. I wouldn’t mind but Furballs was our hamster.

#423

When does a sandwich cook?
When it’s bakin lettuce and tomato

#166

My tailor is happy to make a pair of pants for me, or at least sew it seams.

#57

What’s the difference between a joke and a rhetorical question?

#497

Doing things that you are not supposed to do at work makes your vision, hearing and alertness much better.

#352

Two soldiers are in a tank.
One looks at the other and says “BLUBLUBBLUBLUBBLUB”

#63

Just burned 2,000 calories. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.

#587

Took my dog to a bonfire and as he sat there staring at it blankly I realised he loves sticks. I was burning a giant pile of his toys.

#664

What did one lumber jack say to another lumber jack?
“I need to axe you a question”

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