#457
You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and its cold
#285
When are holes beautiful? When they’re gorges.
#119
Two dyslexics walk into a bra…
#171
You know what often gets overlooked? Fences.
#567
How do you drown a hipster?
Throw him into the mainstream
#33
What do you call a guy with a rabbit up his butt?
Warren
#386
Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s time consuming
#18
Last night me and my wife watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the TV.
#848
How do you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch.
#832
My wife said “Black really is slimming on you, you’ve never looked sexier”.
I said “Turn the light back on”.
#622
An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
#813
What do ballerinas take for transportation?
A tutu train
#615
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humour.
#666
Someone threw cheese at me.
Real mature!
#756
What do you call people who illegally use restrooms? Squatters.
#538
Blonde: “What does IDK mean?”
Brunette: “I don’t know.”
Blonde: “OMG, nobody does!”
#105
If you’re here for the yodeling lesson, please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue.
#258
What do you call a woman that sets her bills on fire? Bernadette
#374
Why don’t flies go to church?
Because they’re in sects
#524
Why do husbands die before their wives? They want to.