An SEO guy walks into a bar, pub, inn, tavern, hotel, public house, brew house, beer hall, bodega, izakaya

I have a fear of speed bumps. Im slowly getting over it

What do you call dental x-rays?
Tooth pics

When clowns divorce there’s often a custardy battle

What’s an epileptics favourite food? Seizure salad

There are plenty of fish in the sea but until you catch one you’re just stuck here holding your rod…

Wanted to tell you a joke about tv controllers but it’s not even remotely funny

My honey farmer friend has a thing for big butts. I suppose Booty is in the eye of the bee-holder.

My ex-wife has lessons with the devil on how to be more evil. I don’t know what she charges him.

Someone threw a bottle of Omega-3 pills at me. Luckily, my injuries were only super fish oil.

I went to a busy pub last night dressed as a tennis ball.
I got served straight away.

Why should you never give Elsa a balloon?
Cause she’ll just let it go

My speech today will be like a mini-skirt. Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to hold your attention!

What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? Snowballs.

What does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles

RIP boiled water. You will be mist.

What do you call a Mexican with a vasectomy?
A dry Martinez

What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway)