#383

How many south Americans does it take to change a light bulb? A Brazilian

#512

If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup technically a smoothie?

#397

I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

They said “thank you”

I said “Don’t mention it”

#543

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally!

#289

A joke is like sex. Neither is any good if you don’t get it.

#33

What do you call a guy with a rabbit up his butt?
Warren

#160

The roundest knight at king Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.

#47

Two peanuts walked down the street. One of them was a salted

#86

My honey farmer friend has a thing for big butts. I suppose Booty is in the eye of the bee-holder.

#218

Arguing with my wife is like reading the software licencing agreement. In the end, you ignore everything and click “I agree”.

#440

I was lonely so I bought some shares. It’s nice to have a bit of company

#182

A giraffe walks into a bar. “Sorry”, said the barman, “We don’t serve Heineken here.”

#123

I just saw a sign that made me wet myself.
It said “Bathroom Closed”.

#188

Celine Dion walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Those long face jokes are so mean. Let me buy you a drink”

#786

Interviewer asked me if I’d make a good waiter.
Let’s just say I can bring a lot to the table

#800

I’d tell you a joke about crops, but it’s a bit corny.

Back to top