#455
“No, thanks. I’m a vegetarian.” is a fun thing to say when someone hands you their baby.
“No, thanks. I’m a vegetarian.” is a fun thing to say when someone hands you their baby.
What did the cleaner say as he jumped out of the closet?
SUPPLIES!
Why did the chicken go to a séance? To communicate with the other side
I got banned from a secret cooking society for spilling the beans
Queue is just Q followed by four silent letters waiting their turn
What do you call two guys sitting in a windowsill?
Kurt and Rod
What grows under your nose?
Tulips
My friend dug a hole in the garden and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
I told my wife I was going to make a bike out of spaghetti. She couldn’t believe it when I rode pasta.
37 consonants, 25 vowels, a question mark, and a comma went to court.
They will be sentenced next Friday.
What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador.
What’s an epileptics favourite food? Seizure salad
How do you count cows? With a cowculater.
Becoming a vegetarian was a huge missed steak
Why don’t helicopters fly in the morning? Twirly
My first day on the job at an IKEA store, I was told by my boss that employees needed to go to the meeting room before every shift. I asked why. He said, “Assembly required.”
PMS jokes aren’t funny. Period.
Why do blondes tip-toe past medicine cabinets?
So they don’t wake up the sleeping pills
A joke is like sex. Neither is any good if you don’t get it.
What do you call a fat psychic? A four-chin teller.