#457

You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and its cold

#567

How do you drown a hipster?
Throw him into the mainstream

#33

What do you call a guy with a rabbit up his butt?
Warren

#386

Have you ever tried eating a clock? It’s time consuming

#18

Last night me and my wife watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the TV.

#832

My wife said “Black really is slimming on you, you’ve never looked sexier”.
I said “Turn the light back onโ€.

#813

What do ballerinas take for transportation?
A tutu train

#756

What do you call people who illegally use restrooms? Squatters.

#538

Blonde: โ€œWhat does IDK mean?โ€

Brunette: โ€œI donโ€™t know.โ€

Blonde: โ€œOMG, nobody does!โ€

#105

If you’re here for the yodeling lesson, please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue.

#258

What do you call a woman that sets her bills on fire? Bernadette

#374

Why don’t flies go to church?
Because they’re in sects

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