#558
3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome. So next time someone calls you ‘handsome’, don’t take it as a compliment!
#802
What do mermaids use to clean their fins?
Tide
#812
What kind of lights did Noah use for his ark?
Floodlights
#760
What kind of currency do chickens use? Bock bucks
#190
What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know, and I don’t care.
#153
I stayed up all night to find out where the sun went, then it dawned on me…
#9
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool
#832
My wife said “Black really is slimming on you, you’ve never looked sexier”.
I said “Turn the light back on”.
#277
It’s been 2 days since I’ve had McDonald’s, I’m getting the shakes… and the fries.
#557
What’s brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!
#95
Your mum is so mean, she has no standard deviation
🤓
#698
Have I told you this deja vu joke before?
#409
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.
not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
#43
Your mammas not fat. She’s just… easier to see
#599
There are so many scams on the Internet these days…. but for $19.95 I can show you how to avoid them.
#813
What do ballerinas take for transportation?
A tutu train
#376
Broken Guitar for sale.
No strings attached
#744
What’s got four legs and one arm? A Rottweiler.
#645
Sheepdog: All 50 sheep are accounted for, boss.
Farmer: But I only had 49?
Sheepdog: Yeah I know. I rounded them up.
#800
I’d tell you a joke about crops, but it’s a bit corny.
