What do you call a midget psychic who just escaped from prison? A small medium at large

What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud

A termite walks into a bar and says “where’s the bar tender”

37 consonants, 25 vowels, a question mark, and a comma went to court.
They will be sentenced next Friday.

A bill collector came to my house the other day, so I gave him a huge stack of old bills

My ex-girlfriend still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.

There are only 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don’t

My cousin drowned. At his funeral we laid a life jacket on his coffin.
It’s what he would have wanted.

Becoming a vegetarian was a huge missed steak

Your mum is so mean, she has no standard deviation
🤓

And the best neckwear award goes to…
Oh wait. It’s a tie.

Your mammas not fat. She’s just… easier to see

What do you call people who illegally use restrooms? Squatters.

Hedgehogs — why can’t they just share the hedge

A steak pun is a rare medium well done

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh

I can only tell you a bad chemistry joke because all the good ones Argon

People who sometimes use the wrong words should have the humidity to admit it.

RIP boiled water. You will be mist.