#33

What do you call a guy with a rabbit up his butt?
Warren

#813

What do ballerinas take for transportation?
A tutu train

#739

Wanted to tell you a joke about tv controllers but it’s not even remotely funny

#382

Statistically speaking, 6 out of 7 dwarves aren’t happy

#817

A photon checked into a hotel, the staff asked “Hello Mr. Photon, can I help you with your bags?” The photon replied, “No thanks, I’m traveling light.”

#657

No deja vu please…
I don’t want to go through that again

#495

A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.

#101

The funeral for the man who invented Chinese whispers will be held on Monday. Pass it on.

#757

My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. We didn’t see eye to eye. I also found out she was seeing someone on the side.

#631

I applied for a government job but accidentally sent the wrong resume. This early display of incompetence should work in my favour.

#553

What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? Snowballs.

#159

How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb? Sex.

#542

The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

#613

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says “Do you smell fish?”

#891

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They’re cheaper than day rates.

#298

I bet the butcher $50 that he couldn’t reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, “No, the steaks are too high.”

#238

Let’s hope the new Jurassic world movie isn’t a train Rex of a film.

#692

The other night I had a knife in one hand and a block of colby in the other…
I told the kids to leave the room before I cut the cheese.

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