#33
What do you call a guy with a rabbit up his butt?
Warren
#325
How do you count cows? With a cowculater.
#813
What do ballerinas take for transportation?
A tutu train
#739
Wanted to tell you a joke about tv controllers but it’s not even remotely funny
#382
Statistically speaking, 6 out of 7 dwarves aren’t happy
#817
A photon checked into a hotel, the staff asked “Hello Mr. Photon, can I help you with your bags?” The photon replied, “No thanks, I’m traveling light.”
#657
No deja vu please…
I don’t want to go through that again
#495
A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.
#101
The funeral for the man who invented Chinese whispers will be held on Monday. Pass it on.
#757
My cross-eyed wife and I just got a divorce. We didn’t see eye to eye. I also found out she was seeing someone on the side.
#631
I applied for a government job but accidentally sent the wrong resume. This early display of incompetence should work in my favour.
#553
What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? Snowballs.
#159
How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb? Sex.
#766
Where do pencils go on vacation? Pencilvania
#542
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
#613
Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says “Do you smell fish?”
#891
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They’re cheaper than day rates.
#298
I bet the butcher $50 that he couldn’t reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, “No, the steaks are too high.”
#238
Let’s hope the new Jurassic world movie isn’t a train Rex of a film.
#692
The other night I had a knife in one hand and a block of colby in the other…
I told the kids to leave the room before I cut the cheese.