Where are average things manufactured?
The satisfactory

“I stand corrected,” said the man in the orthopedic shoes.

Broken Guitar for sale.
No strings attached

My wife told me I was average, I think she’s mean.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are. But I laugh more.

They say make up sex is the best…
Which is lucky, because all my sex is made up.

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying in your fireplace?
Bernie

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocaine during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication

What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One’s really heavy and the other is a little lighter

Working in a mirror factory is something I can totally see myself doing

Adult: Someone who has stopped growing at both ends and now grows in the middle.

How Long is a Chinese man’s name.

No, it actually is.

Queue is just Q followed by four silent letters waiting their turn

My wife said “Go to the store and buy a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, buy a dozen.”
So I returned with 12 loaves of bread

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally!

Why do blondes tip-toe past medicine cabinets?
So they don’t wake up the sleeping pills