#426

What do dinosaurs pay their bills with?
Tyrannosaurus Cheques

#561

Red meat is not bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

#751

Someone stole my toilet and the police have nothing to go on.

#351

How much did it cost for the pirate to get his ears pierced?.

A buccaneer

#280

What’s the difference between voyeurs and thieves? Thieves snatch your watch.

#437

I got banned from a secret cooking society for spilling the beans

#114

Our cat coughed up furballs all over the carpet. I wouldn’t mind but Furballs was our hamster.

#705

Why should you never give Elsa a balloon?
Cause she’ll just let it go

#499

Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn’t see that well.

#355

Yeah, it was on Fry Day, I can’t believe they got killed for the halibut. No motive, someone should seas the culprit. I’m crabby bout it all

#320

Hedgehogs β€” why can’t they just share the hedge

#723

My neighbour is a stripper and a coeliac which is tough because she can only jump out of certain cakes.

#288

I told my wife I was going to make a bike out of spaghetti. She couldn’t believe it when I rode pasta.

#167

Did you hear about the chameleon that couldn’t change colour? He had a reptile dysfunction

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