#382

Statistically speaking, 6 out of 7 dwarves aren’t happy

#825

Mountains arenā€™t just funny
Theyā€™re hill areas

#572

NSA Pickup Line #2:
I know exactly where you have been all my life

#724

What do you call a guy no arms no legs in the mail box? Bill.

#770

What do you call a bird who drinks too much?
An owlcoholic

#689

What’s the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes *whack* “damn” and a skydiver goes “damn” *whack*

#636

This weight loss website wants me to accept cookies. Hmm…

#199

A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, “A beer please, and one for the road.”

#218

Arguing with my wife is like reading the software licencing agreement. In the end, you ignore everything and click “I agree”.

#890

What do you call a snobbish prisoner going down the stairs?
A condescending con descending

#678

My dad always told me ā€œDonā€™t be quick to find faultsā€.
Good man, terrible geologist.

#762

I felt so bad today…I saw this sad dog without a tail. Luckily, his owner was taking him to the retail store.

#159

How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb? Sex.

#512

If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup technically a smoothie?

#575

What did the NSA analyst say to his co-worker when their female colleague walked past?
“I’d tap that”

#616

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher?
Couldnā€™t control his pupils

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